I’m not! I’m not ignoring my blog again! Not for another year! Things have simply been a bit unorganized with my husband and me taking turns to be sick and then holidays and so on. I have a bit more of Beasts, but I don’t have it quite to a point where I feel alright hitting pause to put at least something up. The end is only in sight in that I know it exists. It will happen.
Ah, so I have a New Year’s resolution for the first time in years! To finish things. That’s it. I’m starting with “Beasts”. I’m not picking a second thing to finish ’til I’m finished with that. And then I’ll pick something else. One thing at a time, so I don’t overwhelm myself.
This post was actually going to be a video blog! But after starting and stopping and starting and deleting and arranging a space in which to record repeatedly, then rearranging the space, I came to the conclusion that, no– yes, I really am still shy. I have a sock puppet I had seriously considered using in place of– myself. Me. The sock puppet was going to be me. Anyone who has met me in the last six or seven years would look at me funny were I to describe myself as shy. I’ve mostly managed to find ways around it. (I’m still very proud of myself that I can order at fast food places all by myself now without the urge to dive under the nearest table to pretend I don’t exist!). I thought maybe I was done being shy, then; that I’d grown out of it. Nope. I then think about you handful of folks out there who follow this blog, my twitter, my tumblr– you’re all out there. Actual people. You’re all probably terribly interesting and wonderful. I’d rather you not know I’m out here, too. It’s not the anonymity thing. Obviously you know my name, you’ve seen my face (I think I posted a pic here once without thinking), you’ve read some of my stuff, and yet a video blog feels like meeting new people somehow. It’s a strange mix of being intimidated and afraid you won’t actually like me after all and excited that maybe we’ll be friends, which then makes me anxious for no definable reason except– people. In reality (that place my mind refuses to believe exists), you’ll probably watch the video, or not bother, and then go on and do other things. You might just say, “Huh, it speaks,” and then watch a video of dogs with boxes on their heads or check your email. That’s cool. I’m absolutely alright with that. In the end, I’m ridiculous. I’ll do a video blog. Okay, I have resolution number two.
#1: Finish “Beasts”.
So there. There’s that. Carry on with your lives, citizens. Hope the New Year is treating you all well thus far. We’re only three days in, you know. Good luck! Much love! Happy adventuring!
Oh! Ah! Okay, so my grandmother died some time back. I had this tape she’d given me of her practicing guitar and singing (she played at church). I’d been trying for a really long time to sit down and get it recorded off the tape into mp3’s for the family, but it just– I couldn’t bring myself to finish it. I finally did thanks to my wonderful husband keeping me company. He’s a good man. Best of all, he’s good at hugs. It really helped that I could share my grandmother with him the way I remember her best, one of the ways I miss her most. Anyway, it’s on soundcloud. I put it up there for easy access for my relatives, but if you’re into Spanish sung church music, there’s that for you.